Springtime Reflections

It’s a lovely spring day.  I’d had my usual errands to run.  As I was returning home, I pulled into the driveway of the future site of Château DeSoto, our forever home we hope to begin building in 2018.  The prospect of this has me somewhat leaning toward the domesticated side.  In my 49 years, I’ve never really felt creative, domestic, feminine.  And I’d decided to change all that.  I’d decided to dig deep and discover why I didn’t.  And I decided to start acting as if I already did, faking it til I make it! It’s a journey I’ve been on for a short while now, with my 50th birthday right around the corner.  I want to live a more mindful life these next 50 years.

I stopped by the land for a couple of reasons, one being I wanted to sit under the tree that bordered the property.  I wanted to sit under this tree and connect with the earth’s energy.  I need a reset and this was the perfect opportunity.  The weather was gorgeous, so why not?  I hopped out of my truck, notebook in tow and headed straight for the shade of the lovely oak.  Then I realized I didn’t have anything to sit on and there’s quite a few stickers on the ground.  I had a zip up hoody on that I could use, but the old, cranky me debated to use it as I would have to wash it later.  The new, so-much-life-to-live me decided so what and used it anyway!  I’d have missed a glorious session with God’s beautiful nature because I would have to wash a piece of clothes???

So I threw my hoody on the ground and lowered myself, attempting easy seat, which is generally not so easy for me due to my hip issues.  As I sat and tried to position myself as comfortably as possible, I realized how exhaustingly tense my body is.  So I purposely concentrated on certain areas, coaxing them to relax one by one, slowly but surely.  Suddenly, my tailbone popped.  That made me smile.  Progress was being made.

I sat and looked around and wiggled and fidgeted.  Then I realized I need only close my eyes as the next step of a deeper relaxing moment.  So I closed my eyes and suddenly the world came alive.  The birds, what seemed like dozens, were chirping.  Softly, loudly, in unison, as if answering one another.  It was glorious.  I could still hear the traffic whiz by from time to time, but the songs of the birds were magnificent.  Nature’s chorus in action.

There was a soft, cool breeze blowing.  The love bugs were hovering around, it’s that time of year.  The grass was cool to the touch under the shade of the tall oak.  And the sky was a crisp pale blue, with a single jet leaving behind a white trail.  A utility worker, I believe cable, was working on a box near the pole at the road.  How lucky he was to have such a beautiful day at the office.  All to soon it will be hot, so he’d better enjoy.  AT 1 pm, it’s 58 degrees.  THAT will not last long, as May and June will usher in our typical hot, humid Louisiana weather.

Easy seat wasn’t so easy any longer, so I decided to lay back.  I flung the hood part of the jacket off its back so I could have a place to lay my head and mindfully lowered myself.  I was amazed at how good that felt.  A flood of memories from my summers spent at my grandmother’s house came rushing in.  Why had I ever stopped connecting in this way? Why do I not get out more, be out in nature more? Why do I feel like I can’t enjoy things the way I did as a kid?  Lots of questions, hope to find many answers.

My mind, body and soul feel weary.  They are begging me to stop and smell the roses, sit on the ground, listen to the birds…simply to live a mindful life.  A life of being, not just doing.  I’ve been hearing, just not listening. Today I listened.