My Future…

It’s October 11, a lovely autumn, Sunday afternoon.  I’ve just come in from sitting on my patio, drinking tea while quietly reading my bible.  And I feel guilty.  I feel guilty because my life is good.  And I shouldn’t for God has blessed me.  With so much going on in the world today, so much suffering and poverty, I have to ask myself how can I help?  I don’t like to give to large charity organizations.  Personally, I do not feel the bulk of the donations actually go to those in need.  So I do so locally; in different ways, different situations.

Yes, life is good.  And I am thankful beyond words.  My past, which was quite difficult, keeps me aware of where I do not wish to return.  But I suffer anxiety because of it.  I’m anxious about the future…on all levels.   In a little over a month, I’ll undergo a minor surgery which will have me on crutches for about a month.  And I’m not looking forward to that.  Actually, I’m secretly whiny because of how inconvenient it will be and will render me “helpless” because I’m so busy.  Ugh, the irony!

I’ve been longing to read the bible lately.  Sad to say, I don’t immerse myself enough in the word of God.  In different ways, I’m being directed to read the books of Jeremiah and Wisdom.  So I dusted off my bible and I flipped through it.  I noticed notes I’d written, highlights I’d made.  And on the back of the very last page, I read something that I’d written and it really struck a chord with me.    It reads, “So do not be ruled by your dreams; do not fret over the future.  Just as God has blessed your past, as you are living the present with Him, so He will safeguard your future.  Live in the peace to which you have been called.  Dedicate yourself to thankfulness.”  Hmmm…so I went on to read Chapter 1 in both Jeremiah and Wisdom, and tossed in a Psalm for a little extra boost.

Life IS good.  Thank YOU, God!!

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